You need to have a lawyer. You can't involuntarily reliquish. Relinquish means your are voluntarily giving up the child. Both parents have to voluntarily relinquish or have involuntary TPR done by a judge in court. The birthparents rights have to be terminated by a judge before you can begin the process to adopt. Usually an adoption agency handles the TPR signing. With an independent adoption, you have to have an attorney. First they will locate the birthmom & have her sign consent. Then they will attempt to locate the birthfather. If they don't know the whereabouts of the birthparents, they will have to make some kind of attempt to locate them. Usually it means sending a certified letter to the last known address, they can contact motor vehicles for address on a driver's license, and/or put a notice in newspapers in the areas where the birthparents might be living. If no one comes forward, the judge will usually TPR the parents based on abandonment and then you can adopt. The judge will need a homestudy since you are adopting a child who is not a relative of yours.
Adoption may be a new process for you. Since it is a legal process, you will need an attorney to guide you and ensure that the adoption meets all state laws and regulations. In some states, an attorney is needed from the start of the process (i.e., in New York State adoptive parents must be Pre-Certified through their local court prior to taking custody of a child). All adoptions need an attorney to finalize the parent-child relationship through the court.
The adoption process can be arduous, forcing you to clear many hurdles before you can finally bring a child home. We will be there with you at every step, providing counsel as you complete applications, advising you regarding home studies and helping you obtain all the necessary documentation to finalize the process. We will handle all matters related to the termination of parental rights, if required, to finalize the adoption. When necessary, we will act as your advocate with birth parents, negotiating agreements to cover medical or other expenses incurred by the birth or care of the child before the adoption.
There are three types of non-agency adoptions: adult adoptions, stepparent adoptions and parental placement adoptions. Adult adoptions typically do not result in the conflict and controversy that can be created in the latter two types of adoptions. The rights of the biological parents are implicated in both stepparent adoptions and parental placement adoptions. If these types are done with the consent of the biological parents then their parental rights must be terminated before the child can be placed with the adoptive family. Further, in almost all parental placement adoptions, an investigation must be completed as regards the child’s biological parents, the prospective adoptive parent(s) and the home situation of the child. There may be hearings as well to determine the best interests of the child in both stepparent and parental placement adoptions. There can even be a full trial where there are disputes over parental rights, the best interest of the child and/or the qualifications of the adoptive parents. Above all else in an adoption, the entire process is governed by a quest for determining the best interests of the child.

The finalization hearing, sometimes held in the judge's chambers, usually lasts less than an hour, and is attended by the adoptive parents, the child, the family's attorney, and a social worker from the child's agency. The judge may review the family's homestudy, ask questions, and generally attempt to ensure that the child is being placed in a safe, loving home.
Handling Challenges – Although adoption is in every way a heart-warming decision and tremendous benefit for children, it is not always the easiest legal process. That’s due to numerous requirements established by the court, as well as complex laws, extensive paperwork, and the potential for disputes or challenges, including those involving biological parents who contest an adoption. Having an attorney by your side can help ensure you take the proper steps, have the support to resolve challenges as they arise, and prepare for all that’s required of you from any agency or court.

Private Adoption – We assist aspiring parents in adoptions involving relatives, surrogates, and other private channels, and can provide the counsel needed to navigate the process and protect their rights when it comes to filing adoption petitions, surrogacy agreements, termination of parental rights, and compliance matters involving the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) with out-of-state adoptions.

Throughout this process, remember that your adoption attorney is there to help, assist, and guide you. He or she should know of all your state’s adoption laws, rules, and regulations. Working with an adoption attorney is a great way to progress through the placement process because of the step-by-step and hands-on help that your adoption attorney should offer. Make use of the resources around you as you explore your options.
The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) applies in any adoption when a baby is going to cross state lines. How long an adoptive family stays in the state of birth after the birth is entirely dependent on how quickly ICPC clears them to leave the state. Travel and lodging can be a very expensive aspect of an interstate adoption. An experienced adoption attorney should be able to get clearance within 3 to 5 business days after the birth mother has signed her consent paperwork.
In MO, where I live the legal age of adulthood is 17. Some states it is 17, some 18. If I were you I would check into that. If legal age in your state is 17, I would just wait a few months and do an adult adoption. Then you would not need anyone's consent other than yours, your husband's and your (now adult) daughter. Then you could complete your adoption without stirring up a hornets nest, although if your daughter is interested in meeting her birthparents....this would be the perfect opportunity to make that happen.
3. PROFESSIONAL LICENSING AND CONSUMER RATING – Check if they are licensed in your state. You can also look at www.adoptionattorneys.org which lists attorneys who have been vetted by the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys and have a minimum amount of related adoption experience. Find a local adoptive parent group and talk to adoptive parents about whom they used and if they were satisfied with the legal services they received.

Adoption is one of the most selfless ways to grow a family and provide a child with a loving home. Because it is also a legal endeavor subject to numerous regulations, paperwork, requirements, and proceedings, however, adoption can be a challenging process to navigate. With the assistance of proven family law attorneys like those at Coker, Robb & Cannon, Family Lawyers, families can gain the support of caring and compassionate advocates who have the experience, resources, and determination needed to make their adoptions dreams a reality.
I was wondering if anyone has ever attempted to adopt a child without using a lawyer. I have a child, she is almost 16 years old and I've had custody of her since she was 5 1/2 months old. She is not a foster child, she was given to me by her birth mother because she couldn't care for her and she was young. She hasn't seen her birth mother or had any contact since she was 1 year. My husband and I want to adopt her and she wants that to. I need to know what steps to take to do this. The birth father is unknown. I'm not sure where to begin but think it might be with involuntary relinquishment of rights. Does anyone have any help? Thanks in advance.

Adoption attorneys or adoption law firms are best for prospective birth mothers who have already identified an adoptive family and who feel they don’t need much adoption counseling and support. It is important to carefully consider the resources and services you’d like to have available before choosing an adoption attorney as your adoption professional.
Future Focused – Adopting a child is a major life event, and one that will impact the lives of families and children for the foreseeable future. Even when a case is not contested or considered complicated, the process itself can be challenging. Ensuring all issues are promptly and correctly addressed is essential to establishing the legal parent-child relationship you have for the rest of your life, and to avoiding the possibility of complications arising in the future.

They may not provide matching services. You may need to work with another adoption professional, such as an adoption agency, to be matched with a waiting adoptive family. Alternatively, you may need to independently identify an adoptive family that you would like to pursue an adoption plan with. This can potentially limit the number of families you have to choose from. In addition, there are other services your attorney may not be able to provide throughout the adoption process, such as counseling and support. If adoption counseling is offered, it is normally through an unlicensed paralegal with little adoption counseling experience. The attorney also will not usually be able to keep up with post-adoption agreements, such as receiving pictures and letters, whereas adoption agencies often have programs in place to coordinate these services.
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