From your post, it sounds like you want to do a private adoption without the birthparents involvement. Unfortunately, it's not possible to go around the birthparents' rights. They have to be notified of your intention to adopt & you have to have their consent. And like I said, if you want to go the "I can't find them" route, it has to be an honest "I hired a private investigator and here is everything we've done" kind of situation. You have to convince a judge (who doesn't terminate parental rights on a whim) that you did everything humanly possible to contact that birthmom

An adoption lawyer will be knowledgeable on state- and country-specific adoption laws and provide guidance based on your situation, whether it be a private adoption, a step parent adoption, or if you’re a same sex couple wanting to adopt. A lawyer can prepare you for any hearings that may be required in the adoption process. In addition, your adoption attorney can represent you in court if there are legal complications, such as the birth parents changing their minds or trying to extort you.
Adopting a child or baby is a big decision, and it’s one that needs to be done right. Hiring a family lawyer that provides services in this sector of law can help give a person confidence they are doing everything right. For those who are thinking about hiring a lawyer for adoption in West Virginia, there are a few things they should consider. Being informed and knowing what this legal professional has to offer is the best way to know if they should be hired.
I think in PA it is 18 but I will check into it. I'm very open with her and she could see her birth mother now if she wanted to and we could actually locate her. She met her three siblings last year and now keeps in touch with them. My adopted son (now 20 years old) has no interest in meeting with his bio mom or siblings but I've always been open with him and left him know it was an option.

The laws of the state in which the child was adopted determine who has access to the original birth certificate or other adoption records, and whether those records are sealed (unavailable). For information about the law in each of the 50 states and the District of Columbia, see the: http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/. This links to the Child Welfare Information League’s numerous publications on the legal aspects of adoption.
Once the child has met these eligibility requirements they will be placed for adoption by their natural parent or parents. Subsequently, the adoptive parent or parents, legal guardian, a licensed child-placing agency, or the Department of Protective and Regulatory Services, Texas adoptions will then go through a number of steps. The steps for a legal adoption in Dallas, Texas generally go as follows:

The adoption process can be arduous, forcing you to clear many hurdles before you can finally bring a child home. We will be there with you at every step, providing counsel as you complete applications, advising you regarding home studies and helping you obtain all the necessary documentation to finalize the process. We will handle all matters related to the termination of parental rights, if required, to finalize the adoption. When necessary, we will act as your advocate with birth parents, negotiating agreements to cover medical or other expenses incurred by the birth or care of the child before the adoption.


Because our firm prioritizes personalized service and wants to provide the highest quality representation possible, we ask that prospective parents take the time to complete our adoption questionnaire form prior to an initial consultation. This can help us get the information we need to better understand your situation and options (all of which is confidential), and begin the process as swiftly as possible.
Choose an attorney with experience in private adoptions. When you interview attorneys, ask if they are a member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys or an equivalent state accreditation.[9] If your attorney is not accredited, question her about her specific experience handling private adoptions. The AAAA maintains a directory of accredited adoption attorneys in the United States.[10]

From your post, it sounds like you want to do a private adoption without the birthparents involvement. Unfortunately, it's not possible to go around the birthparents' rights. They have to be notified of your intention to adopt & you have to have their consent. And like I said, if you want to go the "I can't find them" route, it has to be an honest "I hired a private investigator and here is everything we've done" kind of situation. You have to convince a judge (who doesn't terminate parental rights on a whim) that you did everything humanly possible to contact that birthmom


Decide who you want to handle the legal side of your adoption. In a private adoption, the birth parents transfer their rights directly to the adoptive parents rather than the state or an adoption agency. However, the adoption is still governed by state law and there are many legal procedures and requirements you must meet for the adoption to be granted. Most adoptive parents work with an attorney to guide them through the process.

You need to have a lawyer. You can't involuntarily reliquish. Relinquish means your are voluntarily giving up the child. Both parents have to voluntarily relinquish or have involuntary TPR done by a judge in court. The birthparents rights have to be terminated by a judge before you can begin the process to adopt. Usually an adoption agency handles the TPR signing. With an independent adoption, you have to have an attorney. First they will locate the birthmom & have her sign consent. Then they will attempt to locate the birthfather. If they don't know the whereabouts of the birthparents, they will have to make some kind of attempt to locate them. Usually it means sending a certified letter to the last known address, they can contact motor vehicles for address on a driver's license, and/or put a notice in newspapers in the areas where the birthparents might be living. If no one comes forward, the judge will usually TPR the parents based on abandonment and then you can adopt. The judge will need a homestudy since you are adopting a child who is not a relative of yours.


Handling Challenges – Although adoption is in every way a heart-warming decision and tremendous benefit for children, it is not always the easiest legal process. That’s due to numerous requirements established by the court, as well as complex laws, extensive paperwork, and the potential for disputes or challenges, including those involving biological parents who contest an adoption. Having an attorney by your side can help ensure you take the proper steps, have the support to resolve challenges as they arise, and prepare for all that’s required of you from any agency or court.
If you or your family have decided to open up your home and your hearts to adopting a child, then contact our Dallas adoption lawyers today. At Queenan Law, we provide affordable assistance to every client regardless if they are single or married. We understand that the adoption process is complex and we know how devastating it can be if an application for adoption is denied because of a technicality. That is why we urge you to contact us today for a free consultation. With more than 20 years of legal experience representing mothers and fathers throughout the Dallas area, our attorneys are always eager to put our knowledge and skill to work for you.
The process is detailed and tedious. While an attorney is not required, it’s recommended. It could take longer and complications may occur if there is not attorney involved. Many people are not aware of the complications of the process until it’s too late. You should always err on the side of caution with the adoption process. It’s an emotional decision and not everyone can handle the logical aspects of the process effectively when emotions are involved. Prospective parents may find some useful information to help with the process online.
The finalization hearing, sometimes held in the judge's chambers, usually lasts less than an hour, and is attended by the adoptive parents, the child, the family's attorney, and a social worker from the child's agency. The judge may review the family's homestudy, ask questions, and generally attempt to ensure that the child is being placed in a safe, loving home.
To claim your adopted child or teenager as a dependent for tax purposes, he or she must have a social security number. If your child already has a number when he or she is adopted, you may either keep the same number or have a new number assigned. If your child is receiving Social Security benefits, Supplemental Security Income payments, or if the child has worked, the Social Security Administration will not assign a new number, but will update the child's record. In any case, you will need to contact the Social Security Administration to be sure the number is registered correctly, reflecting you as the child's parent. To find the nearest local office, visit the Social Security Administration website at www.ssa.gov.
Home visit: Expect a home visit from a DFPS caseworker to review your personal history, lifestyle, experience caring for children and many other factors designed to determine whether you are an appropriate candidate for adoption. Each member of your household, including other children, will be interviewed, so that a complete picture of the prospective family unit can be developed.
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