You need to have a lawyer. You can't involuntarily reliquish. Relinquish means your are voluntarily giving up the child. Both parents have to voluntarily relinquish or have involuntary TPR done by a judge in court. The birthparents rights have to be terminated by a judge before you can begin the process to adopt. Usually an adoption agency handles the TPR signing. With an independent adoption, you have to have an attorney. First they will locate the birthmom & have her sign consent. Then they will attempt to locate the birthfather. If they don't know the whereabouts of the birthparents, they will have to make some kind of attempt to locate them. Usually it means sending a certified letter to the last known address, they can contact motor vehicles for address on a driver's license, and/or put a notice in newspapers in the areas where the birthparents might be living. If no one comes forward, the judge will usually TPR the parents based on abandonment and then you can adopt. The judge will need a homestudy since you are adopting a child who is not a relative of yours.
It is important to note that the information on this page, or on any page at RapidAdoption.com is provided under the agreement that you understand that neither they nor I are a law firm. Therefore, we do not give legal advice. The information shared is common knowledge in the adoption industry. If you need legal advice, consult an authorized legal professional.
Future Focused – Adopting a child is a major life event, and one that will impact the lives of families and children for the foreseeable future. Even when a case is not contested or considered complicated, the process itself can be challenging. Ensuring all issues are promptly and correctly addressed is essential to establishing the legal parent-child relationship you have for the rest of your life, and to avoiding the possibility of complications arising in the future.
From your post, it sounds like you want to do a private adoption without the birthparents involvement. Unfortunately, it's not possible to go around the birthparents' rights. They have to be notified of your intention to adopt & you have to have their consent. And like I said, if you want to go the "I can't find them" route, it has to be an honest "I hired a private investigator and here is everything we've done" kind of situation. You have to convince a judge (who doesn't terminate parental rights on a whim) that you did everything humanly possible to contact that birthmom

Whether your pregnancy is planned or unplanned, exploring your options can be confusing, overwhelming, stressful, and hectic. It can be especially confusing if this is your first time progressing through the placement and adoption process. When starting along this journey, it is important to learn and completely and clearly understand the basics. You may find that working with an adoption attorney is a fantastic way to better understand the adoption process, retain your parental rights, and help you navigate through the long process. An adoption attorney is just one of many adoption professionals you’ll work with. And before you begin, below is a list of common questions about an adoption attorney.


So when exploring ways of controlling the cost of an adoption, one has to ask if all of these lawyers are really necessary. I am told that there is no legal requirement to seek legal representation. A quick search of the internet will try to convince you that there is but the majority of these websites are owned by attorneys. Of course, the laws differ in each state and so it is incumbent upon those involved to ensure that they are aware of their particular state laws and are in compliance with them.
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