Actually from what I gather it is quite easy [sometimes] to adopt and a birthparent never even know. This is particularly true with birth fathers. In our adoption case (with my now adopted son) the absent birth parent was willing to sign and so it was quite easy. I have heard of many cases though in my research down the adoption path where the adoptive parents did searches with the OAG, DMV (as mentioned), used paid internet investigator searches, and even hired PI's then presented the evidence to the court and had the TPR signed. The truth is that none of those routes yield astounding results necessarily. I don't agree that the birth parents (the fathers in particular because these are the ones that it usually happens to) are being treated fairly but it does happen. Hmm, I guess they aren't really being treated badly they are just not being found. Maybe they don't even know? And, of course the cases I'm aware of are dealing primarily with step-adoption because this is what I'm familiar with being that it was my situation. Judges are far more leniant in these cases I imagine because at least one biological parent is present. I don't know for sure but it would be my guess.
There are three types of non-agency adoptions: adult adoptions, stepparent adoptions and parental placement adoptions. Adult adoptions typically do not result in the conflict and controversy that can be created in the latter two types of adoptions. The rights of the biological parents are implicated in both stepparent adoptions and parental placement adoptions. If these types are done with the consent of the biological parents then their parental rights must be terminated before the child can be placed with the adoptive family. Further, in almost all parental placement adoptions, an investigation must be completed as regards the child’s biological parents, the prospective adoptive parent(s) and the home situation of the child. There may be hearings as well to determine the best interests of the child in both stepparent and parental placement adoptions. There can even be a full trial where there are disputes over parental rights, the best interest of the child and/or the qualifications of the adoptive parents. Above all else in an adoption, the entire process is governed by a quest for determining the best interests of the child.
Adopting a child or baby is a big decision, and it’s one that needs to be done right. Hiring a family lawyer that provides services in this sector of law can help give a person confidence they are doing everything right. For those who are thinking about hiring a lawyer for adoption in West Virginia, there are a few things they should consider. Being informed and knowing what this legal professional has to offer is the best way to know if they should be hired.
Many adoption attorneys have flat fee services for simple issues like document drafting, review, and filing. For more complex issues like talking to an adoptions agency or going to court, most lawyers charge an hourly rate. Rates will vary depending on the complexity of your issue and where in the country you live, so negotiate a rate up front with your attorney to avoid costly surprises.

You need to have a lawyer. You can't involuntarily reliquish. Relinquish means your are voluntarily giving up the child. Both parents have to voluntarily relinquish or have involuntary TPR done by a judge in court. The birthparents rights have to be terminated by a judge before you can begin the process to adopt. Usually an adoption agency handles the TPR signing. With an independent adoption, you have to have an attorney. First they will locate the birthmom & have her sign consent. Then they will attempt to locate the birthfather. If they don't know the whereabouts of the birthparents, they will have to make some kind of attempt to locate them. Usually it means sending a certified letter to the last known address, they can contact motor vehicles for address on a driver's license, and/or put a notice in newspapers in the areas where the birthparents might be living. If no one comes forward, the judge will usually TPR the parents based on abandonment and then you can adopt. The judge will need a homestudy since you are adopting a child who is not a relative of yours.
During the home study, the child welfare agency will review your case and provide the courts with evidence that you are capable of caring for the child. A lawyer is not required for this stage, but it’s nice to have one available. You’ll be asked to supply copies of your birth certificate, income tax returns, medical report, and marriage licenses. All adoptive parents will need to be fingerprinted.
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From your post, it sounds like you want to do a private adoption without the birthparents involvement. Unfortunately, it's not possible to go around the birthparents' rights. They have to be notified of your intention to adopt & you have to have their consent. And like I said, if you want to go the "I can't find them" route, it has to be an honest "I hired a private investigator and here is everything we've done" kind of situation. You have to convince a judge (who doesn't terminate parental rights on a whim) that you did everything humanly possible to contact that birthmom


The adoptive parents can’t leave the state where the baby was born until they comply with ICPC and the ICPC offices in the sending and the receiving state has cleared the adoptive parents to come home. Clearing ICPC requires submitting several documents (in California this packet can be nearly 50 pages), including affidavits made by attorneys from each state that the state laws have been complied with. Submitting an incomplete packet will delay clearance, leaving the adoptive parents in limbo. Work with an experienced attorney to avoid the stress, delay, and cost of complying with ICPC.
From your post, it sounds like you want to do a private adoption without the birthparents involvement. Unfortunately, it's not possible to go around the birthparents' rights. They have to be notified of your intention to adopt & you have to have their consent. And like I said, if you want to go the "I can't find them" route, it has to be an honest "I hired a private investigator and here is everything we've done" kind of situation. You have to convince a judge (who doesn't terminate parental rights on a whim) that you did everything humanly possible to contact that birthmom

At Bailey & Galyen, we have been protecting the rights of individuals and families throughout Texas for years. We understand the intense emotions involved in the adoption process and are committed to providing a high level of person attention and service throughout the process. We work hard to be available whenever you need to talk with us, listening carefully to your questions and concerns. We will always keep you fully apprised of any developments in your case, as well as your options moving forward, so that we can minimize the stress and anxiety that comes with uncertainty.


The adoption of a child should be one of the most joyful moments of your life. Often, however, the process can be one filled with stress and anxiety, as you work to make certain you have correctly completed all the paperwork and have taken all the steps to safely and permanently bring the child into your home. When you want to minimize the emotional challenges involved with adoption, having an experienced and competent attorney by your side can be critical.
The adoptive parents can’t leave the state where the baby was born until they comply with ICPC and the ICPC offices in the sending and the receiving state has cleared the adoptive parents to come home. Clearing ICPC requires submitting several documents (in California this packet can be nearly 50 pages), including affidavits made by attorneys from each state that the state laws have been complied with. Submitting an incomplete packet will delay clearance, leaving the adoptive parents in limbo. Work with an experienced attorney to avoid the stress, delay, and cost of complying with ICPC.
The process is detailed. If you don’t adhere to every particular in the process, you may get a rejected application, and you’ll incur added expenses. Most adoptive families do not have money to waste on unnecessary fees. Therefore, you need someone who will get it right the first time. Furthermore, adoption law differs from state-to-state. If you’re adopting in a state outside of your home, the laws could be different from what you expect. It’s better to hire an attorney.
However, this process is quite often a long and arduous process and requires a number of studies and reports to be conducted and submitted to the courts before the court will grant an adoption. The goal of these reports is to establish that an adoption either is or isn’t in the best interest of the child, which is the legal standard for an adoption. These studies generally include:

Thank you for all your help. I do have one adopted child and that was private and we used a lawyer. I do know about trying to find the mother and I am in touch with the birth mothers father ( the child's grandfather) He told me she moves around alot and goes from state to state and friends to friends and that she never leaves an address or phone number. Since the father is unknown and the birth mother originally told me he died ( not sure if that's true) what will happen with that? My husband still wants to try and do this without a lawyer. We have all the papers from our local courthouse but just need to know the order in which to do them. I'm not sure we will be required to have a home study, my husband is reading up on the laws in PA a little each evening but this takes time and patience.


The services offered by adoption lawyers vary from one attorney to the next. If you choose to work with an adoption attorney, you may need to take a more active role throughout the adoption process, and you may have to consult additional adoption professionals for some services not provided by your attorney. However, the right adoption attorney should be able to refer you to professionals that can assist you with these services.
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