Each state makes its own laws in the area of adoption, according to state statute. While some federal laws do apply, practices and policies can vary widely from one state to another or even from one county to the next. To learn about laws specific to your state or jurisdiction, visit the website of the Child Welfare Information Gateway, at http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/ or contact your county's Department of Children and Youth.
I live in Franklin county and I did go into the courthouse and they did give me the papers needed to start. They said they couldn't tell me what order to do it though. I'm really not trying to "get away" with anything as far as the birth parents go. I have tried several times to get in touch with her through her father and step mother. She also has other children but none are with her and she just disappears for years and no one seems to know what happens to her then she will call or something and talk to her dad but then she's gone again. I do intend to try and find her as that would be easier because I know she wouldn't even blink at signing the papers. The birth father is another problem because of her drug and alcohol use I don't even think she knows who belongs to who and like I said before she told me he died. Also I was wondering if anyone knew if the child being adopted has a say in this matter beyond being wanted to be adopted. I mean at her age, over 14 in PA you have a say about alot at that age. Thank you all for your help and comments :)
Adoption lawyers can help you find an adoption agency and file any necessary paperwork. They will also represent you in court if necessary. Lawyers will help you prepare for hearings if you need to state your case verbally in court. Some common problems include the birth parents trying to extort the adoptive parents or the birth parents change their minds. If there are any sort of legal complications, you’ll want to have an attorney on your side.

Choose an attorney with experience in private adoptions. When you interview attorneys, ask if they are a member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys or an equivalent state accreditation.[9] If your attorney is not accredited, question her about her specific experience handling private adoptions. The AAAA maintains a directory of accredited adoption attorneys in the United States.[10]
From your post, it sounds like you want to do a private adoption without the birthparents involvement. Unfortunately, it's not possible to go around the birthparents' rights. They have to be notified of your intention to adopt & you have to have their consent. And like I said, if you want to go the "I can't find them" route, it has to be an honest "I hired a private investigator and here is everything we've done" kind of situation. You have to convince a judge (who doesn't terminate parental rights on a whim) that you did everything humanly possible to contact that birthmom
Some expectant mothers need help covering expenses. Each state has different laws about what expenses can be covered, who can distribute the funds, and whether the funds must be paid directly to the provider. Failing to follow the laws regarding expectant mother expenses can potentially result in criminal liability. An experienced adoption attorney will know what expenses are permitted, how they can be disbursed, and who can disburse them.
When my wife and I adopted our son, we were told that we needed to hire multiple attorneys. One to represent the birth mother. One to represent the child. One to represent the birth father. And one to represent us. When we adopted our daughter we needed even more. One for the child. One for the birth mother. One for us. And one for each of the three possible birth fathers! We were outnumbered! Since no agency was involved, the attorney fees, the home study and the court costs were our only expenses. And when it came time to file our income taxes we claimed the adoption tax credit and were reimbursed the entire amount. Both times.  We were fortunate. Adoptions can be, and in most cases are much more expensive.
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